Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Quote of the day
-- Whit Hobbs
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Quote of the day
-- Zig Ziglar, Author
Interesting.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Thursday, December 03, 2009
P90X
It's only been a couple weeks. . . .so we'll see how it does. But so far it's definitely keeping my attention and it has me looking forward to my workouts. Plus Tony Horton isn't too bad to look at either. . . . .
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Getting the hang of it
While there were a few pictures that I really liked. . . . .I thought this one was pretty good.
Fun pictures
And this week's assignment is using different lenses. . . . I think. . . . .I should probably look back in my notes to make sure I do the correct thing.
TODAY I'll take some pics of the peeps at the cross race. That's always fun. Maybe I'll even live dangerously and take it off "auto".
Friday, November 13, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Allison Dunlap
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Halloween Pyramid
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Iceman Cometh 2009
Saturday morning there was just a flurry of people preparing for the race. My understanding is they had a little issue with the lottery system, and because of that "boo boo" they ended up letting in nearly twice the participants. Warming up, you could definitely tell there were WAY more people than in years past.
When they gave us the "riders go", we rolled on out. Thankfully I lined up on the front line (I think Frankie Andreau gave me "the eyes", I must have looked fast). Immediately a group of roadie girls went to the front and darted back and forth as those "roadies" do. The lead out was a good mile or so of road, so these gals bumped up the pace a bit off the bat. I managed to hang on. . . . .then we hit the dirt. We went from 2 and 3 across to single file and I could see the lead girls forming a bit of a gap. I was on another gal's wheel and I felt my pace was pretty good, given the fact that I was in for a race much longer than I'm used to. I didn't need to use it all up right out of the gate.
I rode this gal's wheel for a while, until we started hitting some hills. Almost immediately we started catching the men and after the first couple hills I was able to pass the gal who I was riding with, along with another gal. That was about the only time in the race that I saw any other women. I believe ONE other woman passed me at some point mid-race. . . .but other than her, it was all me passing men. HUNDREDS of men. There were SO many men, I'd pass packs of 10 at a time. The interesting thing about that was these passes often required me to dart off the GOOD LINE into the sand, or the leaves, or just the harder part of the trail to get around. Talk about a race full of "intervals". Each time I'd do these large passes, I'd have to expend a large amount of energy just to get back to the "good line". I was hoping that energy expenditure wasn't going to catch up with me. One can always hope, right?
With about 7-8 miles left to go, I came upon "The Wall". The wall was a steep hill climb which leveled out and dumped into some very tight single track. At that moment, I did not know exactly what "the wall" was, I just knew for some reason there were about 100 riders stopped on this hill. . . .not moving. I thought someone was hurt and they stopped the race to clear them off the trail. Nope, it was just an astronomical amount of traffic dumping into single track. And when you dump 10 wide into single file, it causes a MASSIVE bottleneck. Talk about irritating. I literally stool STILL for a good 3-4 minutes. As we all waited our turn in this single track, we watched a NUMBER of riders decide that cutting the course was a "good" idea. WHAT THE HELL? Sure, it wasn't fun to wait for this bottleneck, and it wasn't fun knowing there were more people in front of me than in front of earlier waves, so my wait was going to be longer simply due to the sheer number of riders. . . . .but how does that give you the right to CHEAT? It doesn't. So I waited.
The last 7-8 miles were full of more passing, lots of screaming spectators, massive leg cramps and fatigue. I had to work my way around the remaining sport boys I was passing coming into the finish chute because they were so exhausted they were hardly moving. Finally when the chute got tight, I gave up passing and settled in behind them and rode it in for the finish.
I finished 3rd out of 47 in my age group. If I calcuated correctly, it looks like I took 8th out of 90 sport women. Fun times. I managed to hold an average heart rate of 180 for the 2:25 it took me to finish that race, DESPITE the 3-4 minute stand still. Pretty sweet. I'm VERY thankful for what I've achieved this season. . . .thankful for finally being able to "undo" what I did last year. . . .thankful I finally feel like "I don't suck". And I'm looking forward to a fantastic off season this winter. I have a lot to accomplish. :-)
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Wolf River Rendezvous
Saturday's preride was challenging. One lap took me about 36 minutes and I was hoofin' it pretty good. I figured I'd be looking at a bit longer of a race come Sunday, but that's ok. My lungs felt like they were on fire after the preride, my legs were tired and my body wondered how in the HELL I was going to get 3 good laps Sunday. But my mind wanted to go do another lap and focus on all that technical riding.
I wasn't sure how I felt Sunday, other than tired, but I knew it was a fun course so my plan was to just go ride. I lined up on the start line with a mere 8 other Brave sport women. We all had a little chuckle together, realizing we were all guaranteed a "Top 10" if we finished. What a great attitude these women have! :-)
Don said "GOOOOOOOOOOO" and I knew I should get up front. Climbing is my "thing" and I needed to be up front on that start hill. I also knew this course was built for me. . . .lots of slippery rocks and roots, lots of climbing. . . all my strong points. If I could keep myself up front and working HARD, I knew I would do pretty good.
We started catching the Sport boys before we even hit the first section of single track. They are always so nice to us. . . . .cheering us on, moving over, telling us what position we are in, making room for us when they know we can make a climb they can't. This is one of the reasons I LOVE Sport. And this race wasn't any different. We hit the first steep little climb in the single track and 3 Sport boys and one Sport girl got off their bikes, not being able to make the climb. Seeing me coming, they all parted the way for me to poke right up the hill past them. . . .I LOVE those technical climbs. That put me in second place. I hoped I could hold it. I knew the chances of me catching 1st were slim, but I was certainly going to give it my all.
Lap 2 felt good. It was tiring. . . .my legs were starting to feel all the climbing. A couple Sport boys went down on roots in front of me, I managed to avoid them. One by one I passed them and worked my way up. For the first time in a long time, I got to ride WITH some of the Sport boys. We seem to be opposites in our strengths. . . . .I'd gain time on them in the technical, climbing sections, they'd gain time on me in the open double track stretches. Back and forth I went with a few of them.
Lap 3 I was wondering how in the WORLD I was going to finish. My legs were SOOO fatigued. My breathing was extremely labored, all that climbing was really wearing on me. Each single track climb I would have to push a little harder to get myself through it. I kept telling myself "this is the last time through here". I knew I could ride every single section on that trail, so making a deal with myself to "walk if needed" was NOT an option. "Stay on the bike" my mind kept telling me. "You WILL finish". And I did.
Since there were only 9 of us, we were pretty spread out. The gal I usually battle with (Kate) had raced Saturday, so she was a little "compromised" on this course. I managed to finish in 2nd with a good gap on the 3rd place gal. My legs hurt so bad when I crossed the finish line I wasn't sure I'd get back to my camper. It was a wonderful feeling. Knowing I had once again pushed myself THAT hard and had THAT much fun doing it. Kind of sick really. :-)
I'll be signing up for that race again, that's for sure. And I'll hope for slick conditions next year. That's the perfect make up for me. Awesome.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Fall is here
I find that fall is a great time for reflection. I don't always plan it that way. . . .but it seems these cooler dreary days have me thinking about life and what I want out of it.
Recently I've found a wealth of patience I had forgotten I had. It makes me sad to think I had to lose someone close to me to understand how insignificant certain things in life really are, but it makes me very thankful to come to this realization NOW, while I'm still "young", while I still have time to "slow down and enjoy life".
In the months since my dad has passed, I've been building up for a personal journey I feel I need embark on. This personal journey is nothing over the top. . . .it's just simple goal setting, looking at the rest of my life and deciding what makes me happy, what I want more of, and where I want to go.
I'm one of those fortunate people who truly understand I can attain just about anything in life I truly want if I focus, make a plan and give it 100%. The "problem" is that I'm not truly sure what I want to attain in life right now, therefore I seem to be merely "existing". The funny thing is, it seems MOST of the world just simply "exists", going to work, coming home, riding their bike (or doing whatever) for stress relief. . . . .but we're all capable of so much more. And at this point in my life. . . . .I'm ready to work for "more".
Now I just have to figure out what that "more" is. :-)
Monday, September 14, 2009
Lake Geneva
As we lined up, I knew I was going to have to give it my all on that start hill to get a good position going into the single track. I was hoping my legs would cooperate as they were feeling very tired and flat during the warm up. Perhaps too much riding the day before. . . . maybe even too much loading the week before. Who knows. But I figured it was what it was, there wasn't anything I could do about it. I'd just try to ride my best and see what happened.
I tend to be strong on hills. . . .why I'm not really sure because they REALLY hurt, but I dug deep and got up front on the start climb. Went into the single track 2nd or 3rd. It was a good spot to be.
We caught up to the sport boys pretty quickly. . . . we actually caught some right before the dive down into the single track already. I figured that would be a bad course for traffic, but if it was bad for traffic for me, it was bad for everyone. I just hoped I could get a gap and hold on to it.
I got my wish in lap #1. I held my spot, rode relatively clean, although I stepped down that last set of rocks after the rock garden. I don't know WHAT my problem was, but that freaked me out every lap. Oh well, a few seconds lost stepping over something that could propel me into the cheap seats is a good few seconds to lose I guess.
Lap #2 I was still in a good spot heading up the start climb. I was hurting. . . .it was hot, I was sweating profusely, I could already tell I hadn't drank enough. I got yelled at by my easy up of peeps to drink so I tried to force it down on the second lap. Unfortunately, I think it was too late.
Going up the start climb to start lap #3 I could feel my energy drain. I knew I was in for a rough 3rd lap. I just hoped that I had gotten a large enough gap that I could hold my position - or close to it. Every hill felt like death. I was hyperventilating, seeing starts and not sure I'd be able to finish it I was hurting so bad. But somehow I found the strength to keep pushing on. I eased up a bit on purpose. . . .but mostly because I physically HAD to. I heard Sonia breathing down my back so I let her get around me. She had so much energy, there was NO way I was going to match that. Back and forth I went with Mariah. Last time through the rock garden I stepped over the last set of rocks - AGAIN - and Kate flew by. I gave it my all knowing I was nearing the end. I figured if I could make it to the end knowing I had given 100%, I would be happy.
And that's exactly what happened. I ended up 7th overall. Not so bad of a race, but not as good as I was hoping for considering I was in the top 3 or 4 for 2 laps. But I finished and I managed a win in my age group against some tough competition.
I wrestle with how much to put out there so early in the race. . . . . .and I wonder if a bit of conserving would have given me the "extra" I needed yesterday. But after a number of years of racing experience and getting to know my body and my strengths and weaknesses, I believe conserving wouldn't have helped me much. I seem to do the best when I put it all out there right up front. Sometimes I can hold on to that. . . .and sometimes there are just faster girls.
Today I feel like someone took me out to the bike rack and beat me to a pulp. My body hurts tremendously, I can't move my head my neck muscles are so tense and I've had a head ache all day. Mondays are usually not a lot of fun, especially a Monday after a race, but today, well, today takes the cake. Unproductive, low coping skills, lots of "pain". There's no question as to whether I gave my all yesterday or not. I gave it all, and then some. :-)
Monday, September 07, 2009
Epic Road Ride
I could only make it up to the first landing before my "vertigo" got the best of me. Too bad as I bet the views from the top were/are spectacular. But I'm sure dad already knows that.
Today was a great day to be alive. :-)
Goals?
-- J.C. Penney, Retailer
Hmmmm. I should probably get some long-range goals again. . . .
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Reforestation Ramble
Don raced today, so we had a "fill in" to yell GOOOOOO. He gave us the "15 seconds" and then yelled GO without a countdown. I wasn't ready. I was waiting for the countdown. So I didn't have the best start. We hit the flat double track and I took the "crappy line" to try and pass as many gals as I could to get up to where I felt I should be. We turned the corner and settled into the single track. I was breathing pretty hard. Popping out of the single track I decided I'd better race my OWN race since it was going to be longer than usual and I didn't want to pop. So I get the fast girls go and settled in at a comfortable pace on my own.
I rode alone for a little bit, but then picked up another sport gal. . . .then we caught another sport gal and there was a small train of us. That didn't last long as we encountered a number of sport boys in the single track, one who so very nicely tried to move over to give the gal in front of me room to pass. . . . . but the pass wasn't successful as she hit something, went down and suddenly their two bikes were tangled together and she was announcing she thought she "re-broke her collarbone". Since there was nothing WE could do, she told us to go, so the other gal and I hammered on.
Toward the end of the first lap I thought I saw some gals ahead. . . . .sure enough, it was the "fast girls" I let go at the start. I was able to catch up to them and we formed a 5 person train. We rode nearly the whole last lap together and I discovered riding with others who are your speed is amazingly fun. We pushed each other, encouraged each other and really had a good time (I did at least). Passing the sport boys became easier. . . . .they would see the train of the 5 of us coming and move over. Then the elite boys started lapping us. The first set caught us in the single track so the 5 of us stopped together and pulled off the trail to let them by. The second set caught us on the double track, a few others in the single track again. . . . .each time we'd pull over together, managing to stay on each other's wheels.
In the last set of single track before you dumped out on the gravel double track (that ran parallel to the road) a couple other elite boys caught us. I was 4th in the train of 5, so myself and the gal behind me moved over to let them by. Unfortunately the gals ahead of us managed to let them pass without moving over and that was just enough to put the gap between us. We dumped out of that single track and I dropped the hammer. I could see the others, strung out ahead, on the fire road hauling a$$. We all knew we were SO close to the finish, and we knew we needed to give it everything we had.
The good news is "everything I had" managed to hold off the gal behind me, but it wasn't quite enough to catch the gals in front of me. So I finished pretty much right where I ran for most of the race. . . .7th overall. While I'm happy with that finish, I'm MOST happy that I got to ride with some really cool girls today, and I simply had a GOOD time. THAT felt good. After all, that's what racing is all about. :-)
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Exciting Tuesday
The sky looked like it was going to dump at any moment, but I figured as long as we didn't get hit by lightening, we'd be ok. It can rain pretty hard before you are soaked deep in the woods. We figured we'd be good to go. So off we went.
The first lap was rather uneventful. It felt very humid, but we kept it under control. I think my bike seat (height and saddle tilt) is finally right. My back was feeling not-so-bad. We stopped back at the truck before heading out on the third lap to stock up on beverages. The clouds seemed to be congregating to the north, so that was good.
Towards the end of lap 2 i had noticed my bike doing some strange things. I dropped my chain a couple times after hearing a little ticking noise. Almost like the chain was going to suck up. . . .but instead it dropped off. After careful examination of the the cassette and rings, everything appeared OK, we made some minor tweaks in shifting and set out on lap 3.
Part way into lap 3 I turned a corner to start a short steep climb putting the power to the pedals only to hear "TINK". Chain broke. Crap. Luckily Aprilay had a quick link so we pulled it out and started working. After a few minutes of trying to figure out what we were doing, running the chain the wrong way through the derailleur, a smack of the pedal to Brittany's shin and a TON of laughter we got the chain back on. Sweet. As I turned to start walking up the hill we were at the bottom of I froze in my tracks and whispered to Aprilay - "look at the trail!"
Ahead on the trail were 2 fawns with their mommy watching our whole escapade go down. They slowly moved closer and closer to us trying to figure out what the heck we were. They probably thought I was road kill I smelled so bad. . . . . .
It was the neatest thing to stand there and watch these creatures. So peaceful and calm. And to think, if I hadn't broken my chain we would have rode right past them and never experienced this wonderful moment.
Sometimes one has to stop and "smell the flowers". You can't go "race pace" all the time in life. . . . .or you're going to miss special things here and there. That's the lesson I learned today. :-)
Friday, August 21, 2009
Happy Memories
Although we didn't have much of a relationship while I was growing up, I'm quite thankful that we really got to know each other the last few years of his life. It's a little scary how alike we were. :-)
I found this picture this morning. . . . .at my sister's wedding, of the three of us.
I remember just watching him watching everyone else. He was definitely a "fade into the background" type of person. He didn't need the spotlight, didn't LIKE the spotlight actually. He liked to just blend in and observe. As I think about it, I guess I have those traits also. I have the gift of being able to fit into many different situations, mesh with all kinds of people. It's what makes Real Estate so good for me as a career I guess.
It's funny how it seems like the older I get, the more of his personality I seem to take on. I no longer need that center of attention, I no longer feel the need to make everyone laugh or to make everyone like me. I can sit and listen to everything else going on around me. . . . .watch everyone else, without feeling the need to make it all about me.
It really is true how age brings wisdom, peace and acceptance. The older I get, the more I learn about myself, the more comfortable I become with myself, my choices, my life. I believe I can thank my dad for a lot of these characteristics. Thanks Dad. :-)
Life is good.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Thunder
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Boarder Battle
Bill had been having stomach issues for a couple days leaving him a bit depleted come Sunday. Stacked behind the MN boys he once again got a poor start having his race end up not being all that he had hoped.
I, on the other hand, had a great time. We woke up Sunday to very humid conditions. I thought i was screwed. My goals for the race were 1) to finish and NOT be carried off to the first aid tent and 2) to not finish last. Good goals considering I could hardly breathe.
I knew that start hill would be a problem. Last year, without a preferred start, I lined up at the back of the pack and had to run part of the hill when girls swerved in front of me and suddenly everyone was walking. I vowed for this to NOT happen this year. I don't walk anymore unless I have absolutely no choice (ie: if someone else takes that choice away from me or if I'm going to DIE). I got to the front of the pack and that's where I stayed for the most part.
(Thanks to Bill Nigh for the picture!)
LOTS of traffic on that course, I think almost more than Crystal Ridge. I spent so much time passing boys, SO many kind boys, many of whom would just pull over for me. While that's not necessary, it's greatly appreciated when you see your competition taking more aggressive passes and riding away from you because you're "kind". After all, Don does say "treat each other kind". I tend to take that to heart.
Despite the amount of traffic, I rode clean and I rode hard. I was quite excited to have Paula Liske pass me in the field on the second lap. I had stayed ahead of her that whole time. I kept her in my sights and somehow managed to keep the gap small, playing cat and mouse with her and one other gal.
Last lap I had the two of them in my sights. I could tell the gal just in front of me was wearing down. . . . .I had more left than she did. There wasn't a good place to get around. I figured if I could keep the gap small, we could sprint it out at the end. Then we hit more traffic. She got around, I did not. I saw her pull away I didn't see how I could catch her again, we were so close to the end. But the boys moved over for me, I put the hammer down and somehow I pulled it out to catch up to her and ride her wheel through the last stretch of single track. We came around the last corner, I saw the open stretch, I stood up and I hammered. I figured what did I have to lose? Either they were going to carry me out because I tried TOO hard or I was going to take her at the end. While I WAS hyperventilating at the end. . . . . .I pulled out the pass and crossed the finish line ahead of her. It felt awesome to have something left to give. And it felt awesome to finish on Paula's tail knowing how fast SHE is.
Great race, great times, great course, great fun. Another top 10 finish, second WI woman to finish. I'll take that. :-)
Sunday, August 09, 2009
HOT, HOT, HOT
Lap #2 I went our harder on April's wheel trying to find/ride the WORS course. Lots of double track, so of course we rode that harder trying to GET to the single track. I spiked my heart rate, suddenly had great difficulty breathing and started feeling puky and extremely dizzy. I told April to go ahead. . . . I'd finish out on my own. I took it down a notch, but still felt very dizzy and suddenly my stomach was starting to hurt. A couple wrong turns, some back tracking, a cliff bar and some cliff shots later and I was finally back to the parking lot. Stomach was feeling a bit sour, but I didn't feel as dizzy, so I filled the water bottles and set out with a few peeps for a little more riding.
I led it out so the pace would be slow (I wanted/needed slow), but by the time I hit the single track I was already starting to feel nauseous again. I rode it out a bit, then decided to head it back in as I just felt zapped.
Back at the "fort", I could hardly get my sweaty gear off. I thought i was going to collapse, my stomach hurt like it hasn't hurt in a REALLLLY long time, and drinking anything added to my complete feeling that I was going to puke. I hate it when that happens.
A few hours later and my stomach is finally starting to return to normal. Even though I ate and drank throughout the afternoon, a quick step on the scale shows I lost at least 4 pounds riding today and of course my body fat was higher than normal. I guess my thought that I had drank enough was truly not the case. Classic dehydration. Rookie mistake I guess. When one sees THAT much sweat POURING off their body, there just can't be a good outcome.
At least I no longer need to curl into a little ball. . . . . .although I just had to stop typing because I had an extreme hamstring cramp. . . . . .crap. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.
Oh well. No one is perfect. Not even me. :-)
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Crystal Ridge
I rode at an easy pace through the single track, dropped the hammer and tried to pass when I could. One boy at a time. Understanding exactly how those boys feel, the last thing I wanted to do was compromise their race. We're all out there to have fun. . . . .I'm in SPORT for crying out loud. I'm not getting paid for this, nor am I breaking any records. Sit and wait for a place to pass. . . .hope to not lose all the gap I earned. . . . hope to not lose the lead girls TOO badly.
I heard a couple gals behind me who usually are in front of me. We decided to work together to get around some of the boys and pull each other. It was fun to actually get to ride with others. . . .usually I'm pushing myself to my limits without help. We rode most of the first lap together, and a good part of the second lap together. These girls pushed me a little harder than I'm comfortable with in the single track which was awesome. It was fun to work together and ride beyond my limits. BUT, it caught up with me come the second switch back ski hill climb. I tried to stay on their wheels, but knew I needed to budget. We all reached the top relatively close together, but I started to fall back a bit as I tried to catch my breath. I yelled for them to go. . . .they kept cheering me on. . . . I knew I was toast. I'd lost a few more spots, but would still scrape a top 10 out.
On the way down the ski hill one of the girls hit some loose stuff and went down. I called out as I rode past her, she said go, she was fine. I knew I was close to the top 5. . . . .could I pull a strong finish out on that last climb?
The answer to that question was NO. She caught back up to me and passed me just before the climb, along with another one of my fellow sport gals. I tried my best, but had used it up and simply had nothing to answer them with. One was in my age class. . . . she took 1st in age. I'm happy for her finish, but wished I could have had a little more to answer her challenge with. Perhaps next time.
Overall, I'm relatively happy with my finish. Sure, I lost 3 spots in the last 2 minutes of the race, but I rode clean (except for that one stupid tree), I rode with some other "fast chicks", and I pushed myself when I needed to push. Top 10 is always a great place to finish. . . . especially when you know you're not where you'd like to be fitness wise. It's all good. One day at a time. :-)
Thanks for the race girls! It was actually a good time. I wish I would have seen Spicy. . . . .but that girl is too freakin' fast for me. I hate that. :-)
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Something to remember
~ Lou Holtz
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Unbelieveable
In the past week someone has backed into one of my friends (thankfully going slowly, but causing some damage to her bike), another friend was taken out by a car resulting in several broken ribs, broken hip, torn aorta, multiple lacerations and surgery required, and I witnessed a car BARELY stop short of running over a youth riding his bike across the cross walk when he had the walk signal.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
~ Ty Boyd
My doctor reminded me of the fact that so much of our life is thanks to our genetics. He said it really sucks that one person has to work so much harder at something than the next person, simply because their parents passed on "good genes" to them. I can tell you first hand, yes, it does suck and it's unfair. But then life isn't really "fair" is it? :-)
"Genes" are the reason we're monitoring my future closely as well. Better safe than sorry. . . . .and better to pay attention to the "small signs" than think you're not at risk at all. So far, so good, now that "middle age" is creeping up on me.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Do you ever have those days?
I seem to be having more of those days lately. I look at those around me and feel like life is passing me by because I'm sitting back and waiting. What am I waiting for? I've never been one to live life for MYSELF, which is why I sometimes end up feeling over committed and tied to other's schedules, other's moods, etc. I drop what's important to ME at a moment's notice to be there for the people who are important to me, even though it's not "required" or even "asked" of me. Then I feel sad that others don't want to do this for me. I understand it's not fair to "expect" people to treat me the way I treat them. . .. .and I truly don't "blame" these people for living their own lives. . . . .but how do you undo 40 years of programming to put yourself first and not be disappointed when the people you care about aren't on the same level?
I stopped at my dad's house today to take some more pictures for the bank. I needed to check in on things and really start documenting my case for why this house is not going to sell for what the mortgage is on it. It felt really cold and empty. It gave me this very strange, empty feeling. It made me think deeply about my dad and about how now that he's gone so much has changed inside of ME. It seems strange to say that. . . . .but I'm carrying a tremendous amount of guilt around with regards to his passing and being inside that house only reminds me of what I could have done, should have done, while he was still alive. It has me looking inside my own life wondering what else there is to life. It has me missing these conversations that I would have with him.
I've always said there's two ways to deal with things. Either curl up and die, or come out fighting and change yourself, your attitude, whatever is necessary. I've always been inclined to do the second, understanding I am responsible for my own destiny and only I control my own happiness. But lately I feel like I've become the first type of person. . . . .where I'm not sure I have the energy or even the desire to change.
It's interesting that these little battles go on inside everyone, only most people don't talk about them much less put them out there for the world to read. Instead they go buy an expensive car/toy, start dating a younger woman/man, fill their lives with non-stop activities so they don't have to stop and "feel", etc. After all, we're all seeking something better out of life, aren't we? Only some of us have the courage (or stupidity, call it what you will) to put these thoughts out there for the world to see/read.
I have many things to be thankful for. . . . .don't get me wrong. And my life certainly isn't bad by any means. I'm just complex and complicated and every once in a while I stop to take a deep look inside myself. It's at those times I realize I tie a great deal of my OWN happiness to others and I simply don't understand why.
Interesting.
Friday, July 24, 2009
A quote to take to heart
~Denis Waitley
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Photos
I've uploaded the Sunburst Showdown pics on Flickr: CLICK HERE
I'm looking forward to spending my 40th birthday riding my mountain bike today. Just a low key day. There's been so much excitement lately, I need a down day to worry about "me".
Happy Tuesday everyone.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Interesting weekend
For some reason I didn't find it odd that we weren't meeting up with anyone. I wasn't sure what any one's plans for pre-ride were. . . . but honestly I'm usually best doing a pre-ride on my own anyway (especially on a ski hill). . . . .so I just didn't think about it. I didn't even think about it when Kiki kept texting all the while we were at the ski hill. . . . .I figured she just missed Skip.
While I knew we were having people over for a combination b-day celebration for AnnTony and myself, I had no idea they were plotting to decorate the Nigh joint up to surprise me. Silly me. I arrived home from pre-ride to see a big Happy Birthday banner on the garage door, and balloons, party streamers and decorations galore awaiting me. Including one BIG Scooby Doo pinata. Sweet.
After a nice little celebration (of which I did not have to clean ANYTHING up - thank you everyone), we headed off to bed for some much needed rest to prep for the big Sunburst Showdown.
On the start line my head was swimming. . . . . .lots of thoughts about my dad flooded my mind. This was always the race he would come watch me at, since he just lived in Hartford. He'd always be so proud of me, all smiles when I saw him. I started to tear up a bit knowing he would not be at this race (at least in the physical sense). It was just about that time that Bill informed me my sister and her family had come to watch me. She always came with dad in past years. . . . . .to know she was out there, that she still came had me break down. Nearly BAWLING on the start line Don began call ups. I had to pull it together. Yikes I had hoped no one saw me wiping tears from under my Rudy Projects. Up to the line, I look over to see Heather (my sister) and I took a deep breath and waved. I could almost visualize my dad standing with her. It was a very powerful moment. Again trying not to cry I hear a group of my peeps yell "Happy Birthday Brittany" and now I'm laughing while I'm almost crying. Uuugh. I knew it was going to be a long race.
Off the start the girls seemed to move slowly. I worked up to the front of the pack, hoping to stay somewhere up there as I knew I could ride that whole start climb. A couple gals passed me and I settled in the top 10 as we turned for the bunny hill. Digging deep, I scooted up my saddle, dropped it in a smaller gear and spun up a few places, hoping to stay ON my bike. I almost got my wish. We met up with a few of the slower sport boys on the steep part of the climb going into the woods. I had to put a foot down so I wouldn't take anyone out, but then was able to quickly hop on my bike again. That was my smartest move as I managed to put a gap on many of the girls that ended up having to walk.
Every lap hurt a little more. . . . .coming to the end of the 2nd lap (after making a stupid move to pass a girl on the fast down hill - thank goodness I didn't hit a rut as I'm sure I would have been in the ambulance then), I was really feeling the pain (you can see it in my face!).
I saw my "rabbit" as Bill says (thanks Keith, you really kept me pushing), and I hoped I would be able to again, stay on my bike. Hitting the bunny hill for the 3rd time I made little bargains with myself. Bargains like "ok, just get pasts this one little climb and then it's sort of flat for a couple seconds and if you REALLY can't take it, you can get off then). Then I'd hit the next part and say "ok, you're that much closer to the top, you can rest in a few minutes, just hang in there". I'm really not sure how I made it through that last lap. I'm pretty sure I saw angels waiting to carry me away I was in so much pain. My body was starting to twinge, my sweating had stopped and goosebumps were taking over, my breathing was very ragged. . . . .but I reminded myself I was ALIVE and my dad was watching me from where ever he was. As much as it hurt, I couldn't walk and I had to give it 110%. For him. That's what carried me to the end. That and knowing there would be ice cold water waiting as well. :-)
Already tonight I feel like a piece of crap, every muscle in my body hurts like hell and I'm dreading what tomorrow is going to bring. Maybe I'll be surprised and wake up feeling like a million bucks! You never know. It can happen. :-) I'm hopeful.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Feelin' kind of lost
Maybe it's a combination of all of these things. Whatever it is, I don't like it. I'm not a weak, lost, person. . . . .but yet lately this is who I am.
Maybe I just need some more recovery. Yeah, that's it. Rest and recovery. Ahhhh. Mental well-being here I come.
Hopefully.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Quote
-- Brian Tracy, Speaker, Author, Consultant
I like this quote. :-)
It's what I've been trying to do since my dad died. . . . .whether I realize it or not. Some days I REALLY miss him.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Back from vacation
Vacation started off at Eau Claire. We rolled in, set up camp and kicked our feet up. Saturday I did a bit longer pre-ride than usual (like 3 times longer), but was having such fun on the bike, I didn't want to stop. Sunday's race went OK. Could have been better, but then it always could have been better unless you win, right? Eau Claire is notoriously bad for me with all the open double track. BUT I fared much better than in years past, and definitely much better than my elite race there last year (uuugh).
Sunday night we packed up the hotel on wheels and headed up to Levis for the week. Talk about fun riding. That place is the best. We rode every day, which is unusual for me. And I think by the time the WEMS race rolled around on Saturday I had hit just about every inch of that trail in at least one direction.
I had high hopes for the 3 hour WEMS race. But after putting the hammer down off the start, I realized 8 days in a row of riding with a race tacked on each end of that appears to be the max my body can handle at this point in my training. So I decided to keep it under control, back it off a few notches, and have a fun 3 hour ride. And that's exactly what it was. My first 2 laps were within seconds of each other (which is awesome considering I typically run out of steam by 1:40) and the last lap was only a couple minutes longer. I rode all the "scary" stuff, rode clean, rode smart, and had a blast. There were a bunch of faster girls, so I didn't place too well. . . . .but I was happy with my consistency and my technical abilities.
Now it's back to the real world. We'll bake some chicken garlic Papa Murphy's pizza for dinner, catch up on the tour and relax. Then the madness of catch up and fitting back into the real world begins tomorrow. Yuck.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Meltdown
While the real estate market isn't as bad as everyone says it is. . . .I'm behind on my closings for the year. I seem to be spending a lot of time with buyers and sellers and having not a lot happen. That happens some times, but it's frustrating when you're working like a dog and don't see a pay check. Commissioned sales isn't all it's cracked up to be at times.
On the bike front, I'm enjoying my new ride, but I am a bit frustrated with Trek. First of all, I am very thankful that I was given the frame I was given as a warranty. I understand it was a significant step up from what I had, and I'm thankful to have fallen into that gift. However, it isn't my fault they didn't have something to replace what broke. I guess this is the reason it took almost 6 weeks to GET a frame. . . . which really sucks. I'm told my case has caused them to take a good look at their warranty system in order to improve it going forward. I'm truly not one to be a big complainer, but this is a good thing for them. Six weeks to get a new bike is unacceptable in my book. . . no matter how great the upgrade is. Had I not had a friend who HAPPENED to have a bike my size collecting dust. . . I would have been sitting SIX WEEKS without a mountain bike. Hmmmm, that doesn't seem to be the best customer service if you ask me.
While my shop worked diligently at getting this issue rectified, when the new frame DID come, it did NOT come complete. Of course several more items needed to be ordered. . . .shipped. . . then assembled. And I'm STILL waiting for a front derailleur. I have a borrowed on one now, which "works", however it requires a couple shifts, some soft pedaling and some gentle shifting to get into the big ring. Not really what I want to be thinking about during a race.
I guess I should just be happy I have a bike, even if it has been a 6 week headache (which still hasn't come to a close).
On top of that, Thunder's blood tests did indeed come back high for her Lyme's disease. . . . .so now we're starting treatment on that. I gave her her first dose of antibiotics tonight. now I'm supposed to watch to see if they make her ill. Gosh I hope they don't. I don't really have the patience to be dealing with that crap right now. If she doesn't get sick I have to go to the PEOPLE pharmacy to get her actual prescription. Yeah, and you people with kids think us people with dogs have it easy? I'd venture to say no. Thunder is about as human as they come.
And those are just the issues I can talk about for the world to see. There are even more under the surface. Time to suppress and deny again. Seems to work for me at times. Keep so busy you forget there ARE issues. It's the human way.
Well, it's almost 5pm. I say that means it's time to have a drink. Heaven knows I sure need one today. Uuugh. Vacation can't get here SOON ENOUGH.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
I love Lance's new commercial.
Demand Media Video -- powered by demandmedia.com
Because he's right. Who cares what anyone else thinks? We do what we love because we love it. In his case doing what he loves to do helps find a cure for cancer. How awesome is that? So say what you will. It doesn't matter. I still think he's an awesome athlete, a superior cyclist, a great ambassador for life.
Monday, June 29, 2009
And they say CHILDREN are expensive
And the vet doesn't think her recent "lathargy" is due to her Lyme's disease. That was $400 I would have liked to have spent differently. Oh well. Hopefully we won't need to worry about that anymore.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Here it is!
I'm told it's "a boy". Still working on the name.
Already falling in love with it after it's maiden voyage at Suamico today. Sweet.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Celebrate Life
Life is too BUSY now-a-days. Too much rushing around, too much work, too much TO DO. Why not take a break and call that old friend you haven't talked to in a while. Say "hello!". Go out for drinks with the girls or the guys or the work crew. Take some "ME" time, some time to do something that puts a smile on YOUR face.
Make that "bucket list", start crossing things off. If we wait until "the right time" for these things, they'll never happen.
Life is too short, to precious, to fragile. Don't make plans and cancel on your friends. . . . .you might not have that opportunity again. Don't forget to hug your dad (or your mom, your sister or brother) and tell them you love them. You might not have that chance tomorrow. If you miss that chance you'll forever regret not having "the time" to let that person know you care.
If it's a bike ride with friends that puts a smile on your face. . . .DO IT! If it's sitting on your butt on the couch that puts that smile there, then do that. Find what brings that balance, that smile to your heart, that happiness in your soul. . . . .and JUST DO IT.
You might not have that chance tomorrow. Seize the day. "Saisir le jour".
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Crap
She's going stir crazy not being able to go outside and play sticks, poor girl. It's all intervals here at the Nigh house. Play a little, rest a little. Work a little, rest a little. I hope things get better soon. I'm so tired of feeling crappy.
With 90 degree temps expected again today and a heat and air quality advisory awaiting us. . . I'll be staying inside today thank you.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Went for a road ride
Maybe the next ride will be better. Sure, it has to be. It can't be any worse, right? :-)
Monday, June 22, 2009
Uploaded pics
CLICK HERE
Enjoy! Feel free to download what you'd like.
Mt Morris
I'm not going to lie. That race was hard. REALLY, REALLY hard. I do have to say the sport course was a TON better than last year. We didn't have to climb ALL the way to the top so there was a bit of breathing room, a tiny bit of time to recover.
There was a low turn out of sport girls - who can blame them, last year was nearly impossible. So my finish ended up not so bad. Most of the girls who finish above me chose not to come, I guess that worked out OK for me.
While I literally saw stars several times throughout the race, I was very proud to say I finished. THAT was my goal for Mt Morris. To finish. Goal accomplished. My average heart rate was 186 for that course, almost 10 beats higher than my first 2 WORS races this year. I thought I was going to be joining my dad during that race it hurt so bad. I guess he didn't want me up there yet. Probably a good thing. I'm really not quite ready.
My new bike will be ready by the end of the week. . . . .we'll see how that treats me. I wish I could be on it tomorrow. . . . but I'm happy I'll be on it SOON.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Not a big snake fan
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
How the day shaped up
I was so focused today I even got the lawn mowed. Good thing. . . .we were almost in need of a goat. Now it can rain tomorrow (if it must) and I don't have to worry.
I managed a short road ride today. . . .sadly my body felt like crap. All my rides have been feeling awful lately. It's not like I have the excuse of being over trained. . . .I think I just don't have any fitness. I feel like I'm back in that boat where I can get ONE good ride, but then I'm so far down on the fitness chain that it takes me a whole WEEK to recover. Every time I try to ride hard it feels like crap, I'm slow, my legs fill up with acid right away and my heart rate doesn't respond. How did I let this happen? It's going to take me the WHOLE season to have ANY good races at this rate. Oh well. It's too late to cry about it now. I might as well try and enjoy the ride. Maybe I'll be in shape come Cyclocross season. Yuck. :-)
Rainy Wednesday morning
We took dad's car down to Car Max yesterday. . . . I highly recommend them if you're in a jam. The whole process was quite easy and quick. I understand they scored a pretty good sale from us, but we actually got what I was hoping we would get and now we have one LESS thing to worry about. We just need something to happen on the house now.
The rain this morning will allow me to get caught up on all the paperwork I've got awaiting me. One more relocation listing to finish, a new listing to process and a BPO to do as well (that's kind of like a mini-appraisal). I doubt I'll get that all done this morning. . . .before I go to my "other job", but I should get a good start.
This way when the sun pops out later today, I'll be READY for it. If all goes as planned, I should be able to squeak a road ride in there this afternoon. Maybe I'll even have time to pick some of the delicious strawberries from our "garden" (if you want to call it a garden).
Monday, June 15, 2009
Tomorrow the car goes
It was dad's toy. Unfortunately he still had a loan on it, and of course we found out that loan is NOT covered by his "insurance" he had been paying for. That stopped about a week after his 70th birthday. He died about 3 weeks after his 70th birthday. So someone has to make the payments for the car (which we are now apparently 3 months delinquent for) or it has to go. I loved my dad and appreciated his love for his mini. . . . .but don't want a mini.
It's 2 months after his death and it still feels weird. I keep waiting for him to call me to go for coffee, drop me an e-mail to harass me for not updating my blog (he was my biggest fan). . .but then I realize that I'll never have the opportunity to talk to him again. I won't get to hug him this father's day and make sure he knows that I love him. I just have to hope that he left this world knowing what I seemed to be too busy to tell him often enough while I had the chance.
I hope whomever ends up with his mini loves it as much as he did.
I really miss him.
Friday, June 12, 2009
So much to catch up on!
Yesterday I found the perfect balance. I found time for some organization in the morning. . . . .started going through all my dad's things that have piled up in my front room. I sorted things into an E-Bay pile, an electronics pile (still need to sort through that), a junk pile and a pile of important papers to file. I've almost got those all sorted out. . . .it's unbelievable how much STUFF there is. Of course my office is even MORE of a disaster now, but at least the rest of my house is starting to become MY HOUSE again. I'm not a neat freak, but I HATE being completely disorganized. It overwhelms me, makes me irritated and eventually depresses me. Strange.
Anyway, after some much needed organization I set off for the office. I put a few hours in there preparing for a couple relocation markets I have on Monday. I enjoy working with transferees, but the paperwork that comes with that business is ridiculous. A relocation appointment takes me probably a full day to prepare for. A good 8 hours of research & paperwork completion. And the sad thing is, all that work doesn't guarantee a listing. Every "relo" listing appointment I'm in direct competition with at least 1 other agent. And while I put a great deal of research into my markets (pricing a home correctly is everything now-a-days), I've lost several of these listings lately to agents who overpriced the home. Sometimes sellers don't understand it doesn't matter where you price it. . . . .YOU don't set the price, the buyer does. So go ahead and list with the agent who overprices your listing because it's what they know you want to hear. I'll be there to help you in 6 months when you realize I was right in the first place.
To round out the day yesterday I took fellow team member "Massage Becky" on her SECOND mountain bike ride ever. We headed out to Greenbush.
I went a bit early and got a 7 mile loop in with Thunder (man that dog can run). She's tired today. :-) Then I did another small loop (loops 1 & 2) on my own while I waited for Becky to arrive. I then took her out for another big loop. On only her second mtb ride ever, she did awesome. Only a few minor tip overs. . . nothing major. I wish I would have picked up SKEELZ as fast as she is picking them up. Maybe if I had had someone to HELP me when I was first learning I'd be ahead of the game. Instead I taught myself, which meant 3-4 years of continuous falling for Brittany. Looking back that wasn't the worst thing. Now-a-days I'm REALLY good at NOT falling. Too funny.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Wausau
Thunder got Daddy some tennis balls. She was very excited to have him open them.
Saturday afternoon we returned to the camper after a short trip to town to find the hotel on wheels all decked out for Bill's big "40". Surprise!
Our good friend Bubbles even made some wonderful place mats and coasters for the occasion.
Then we decided to see how many people we could get in the hotel on wheels for a birthday celebration. 13 seemed to fit rather easily.
Lots of cake!! And we discovered CAKE is Captain's secret weapon.
Saturday night cake seemed to create Sunday success for Billy.
As for me. . . . .well, "good racing" just isn't happening lately. I hope to rectify that issue with the arrival of my new frame in the very near future. Getting MY bike back together and set for me, exactly the way I like it will hopefully give me the motivation I need to get back to some regular training and find my fitness again. That and some decent weather wouldn't hurt. It's tough to want to get on my bike when it's in the 50's and dreary or overcast every day.
It's ok. Sooner or later I'll find the motivation to "be all that I can be" again. Until then I'll just enjoy the ride of life.
Monday, June 08, 2009
Belated birthday shout out
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Death
The house is listed,
Follow this link to see the page:
http://public.mlswis.com/link.html?ordk9c8xbba,,1
(This link will no longer be available after 6/27/2009.)
So if you know of anyone looking to score a home in Hartford WAY below assessed value to "flip", let me know. It will be a short sale. . . . hopefully the bank will be able to work with us.
My house is still FULL of his things, there is no organization nor time to organize (or so it seems). Now that the 12 hour race is over. . . perhaps I can find some balance to start getting things back in order and put myself fully into my real estate again. That and I'd sure love to find the time to start training again. . . . .if this stupid COLD would ever go away, and the weather would cooperate. One day at a time I guess. What else is a person to do?
Monday, May 25, 2009
Photos
Enjoy!
12 Hours of Northern Kettles Pictures
Thanks also to Ric Damm, who has some additional photos to enjoy.