I feel the need to express my side of the "argument" instead of being quiet like I usually am so I don't offend others. There's no specific argument I feel the need to engage in. . . . . .it's just the daily crap I guess.
It's looking ahead to next year and understanding I'm going to get stomped in expert, and wondering how hard I want to work over the winter to ensure I get "better".
It's wondering if I'm really ready to join those ranks next year when my overall finishes this year have been "average" and all over the board.
It's knowing that no matter how hard I try to continue to have "FUN" in WORS, sooner or later it will eat me up that I'm so far behind everyone else. . . . . . .because it already eats me up that I'm so far behind the leaders in Sport THIS year.
It's knowing that people who are clearly better than me will continue to race Sport next year while I feel the "need" to move up, how "fair" is that?
It's the fact that it takes me about 60 minutes to learn how to ride my bike again when it's dark out - what's so different? Why do I turn into a moron when the sun goes down?
It's getting totally annoyed that my blog no longer e-mails me when I have comments, and I haven't done a thing different to make that happen. WTF?
It's the fact that I've gone back and formatted this blog entry 6 times already and each time my paragraph "returns" disappear. Last attempt - if this doesn't work I'm DONE.
It's those stupid drivers I talked about yesterday. I mean come ON. Set the cruise already. And who in the world is SOOOOO important to talk to that you need to endanger everyone else's lives on the road because you're NOT paying attention?
It's a lot of things that have me being less "submissive" today, and more "argumentative". I have an opinion today. . . . . .on EVERYTHING. So if you don't want to hear it, you probably want to steer clear of me. . . . . .at least for the next few hours. I'm sure I'll be back to "myself" after that.
Actually. . . . . .I feel a little better already (except for the formatting thing - that totally baffles me and pi$$es me off).
16 comments:
Funny, I'm having a day like that too. I'm actually superclose to asking to be taken off a project- a drastic move in my world- because i can't deal. It happens. In retrospect I'm sure I"ll laugh it all up.
I find your thoughts about sport/expert and racing really interesting. I'm superslow, as we all know, and I struggle just to get myself to register half the time. But you gotta look at it as, what will you have the most fun doing? You don't have to decide till next season anyway- wait till then and see how you feel. Don't beat yourself up over it!
Ya gatta ride for fun, not results.
Not saying that racing elite would not be fun, but its all the training before and inbetween races that sucks.
It would be a commitment for sure.
And dont EVEN get me started on drivers with cell phones....
Ok, this is TOTALLY strange, but the blog gods MUST be listening because all of a sudden I got e-mail for these 2 comments.
Strange. . . . . . .
I have more power than I know I guess. . . . . .
The whole sport/elite thing gets me too. I want to race my singlespeed next year and figure it'll be more fun in Sport. But then I think it'd be fun either way because I'd be riding it regardless of what class I'm in. Maybe over winter if I can keep up with all the guys on my team, then I should move up. So much to think about. Hope your day gets better!
My plans to be successful in the Expert field is to dope and ride naked.
I'm in.
After all....I have to support my peeps.
I went through exactly what you are feeling last year when I moved up to Expert(still not sure it was the right choice). Look at all the races I haven't attended. Some 'cause of drive time, weather, or just too hard for me to deal(Alterra)with comp riders. It does get frustrating knowing that as hard as I work I will always just be pack fodder. Do what will make you feel happy knowing you have the support from everyone.
PS I can't deal with drivers that drive slower than the speed limit!
I'm all for the women riding naked:)
i don't have the time to put in the hours to race elite. the start alone would kill me.
as far as driving, my commute per day is no less than 3 hours. i've seen it all. i can't believe i'm still sane... some would argue i'm not because i put up with it.
"It's knowing that no matter how hard I try to continue to have "FUN" in WORS, sooner or later it will eat me up that I'm so far behind everyone else. . . . . . .because it already eats me up that I'm so far behind the leaders in Sport THIS year."
If you wrote that sentence and meant it then will you have fun in Expert being ever further back from the leaders than you are in sport right now? Unless you think you are going to make the Pro ranks someday do what is going to be fun for you, not what others feel you should do or what you think others think you should do.
what MG said.
ride where you wish. just - ask yerself exactly what it is you wish, ya know ??
FWIW, it might not always look like it ( she is cursed looking like death when she rides just like her old dad ), but MK is having a blast as an expert, getting killed every week on her 20-odd year old singlespeed. who cares ? she never once cracked the top 5 as a sport, i don't think - pretty sure she wasn't even close.
best of luck deciding what it is ya wanna do. feel free to ask MK about it, if you'd like to hear how it is out there for a normal person over her head - i'll let her know ya might.
finally - nobody sez you gotta stay there, if you don't like it.
TmonT
Thanks everyone for your support. It's really nice to know how others feel about this stuff. I know it's only September....next season is a long ways away. BUT, despite my bitching, I do feel the "need" to at least TRY to hang in the ranks of the "elite".
I'll never know how far I can "challenge" myself I don't even try. Plus, I don't want to end up being one of those girls who continually dusts all the other Sport girls so they get mad at ME. Everyone deserves their chance for for a top 5 finish.
Now I need to bookmark this comment for future reference when I'm all cranky about moving up and having my a$$ handed to me. :-)
I'm a little late on chiming in - I agree with Goat - that unless you want to be a Pro you should be where you are having fun and not feeling stressed. But you seem to really want to do it. If you were thinking of doing it because you felt like you "should" or because your team or someone else was pressuring you (been there), then I would say don't do it. You have to do what's right for your body (including your back) and your ability to handle stress and only you can decide that....
Since you really want to take on the challenge, I think you should try... but only if you can give yourself "permission" to go back to sport without feeling like a quitter if you are miserable. If you decide to go back to sport later don't be hard on yourself - as you said, you'll know you tried. You will have no regrets ten years from now when you are wondering what could have been. Better to try now while you are young, relatively uninjured, and still have the potential to get faster and stronger.
An added bonus - if you ever want to be a coach, I am guessing you will have more credibility having been an expert?
If you upgrade for Sheboygan, could you qualify for Nats next summer? Shevegas is an AMBC race, right? I don't know the exact rules for qualifying, but you might enjoy the rooty technical Mt Snow course?
I can't help you with sport/expert. I can be a bit envious of the terrible choice you are faced with. Like everyone says, you gotta be smiling at the end of the day. Or why do it?
What I really came to say. I find that swimming helps clear my head in such instances. Throws a curve ball to those millions of pedal circles you've been doing.
-jwm
I go through the same thing -- I could probably be top 10 in comp, and was last year a couple of times, but here I am fighting for 40th place in Elite. I look at it a couple of ways: 1) WORS isn't my end-all, be-all goal for the year, so it's all good training; 2) by being exposed to the faster riders, I get faster (really, it works!); and 3) it's more value for the money ;-) If I'm going to drive 4 hours to a race, I at least want to race for a long time!
Seriously, though, do what you feel is right, and have fun with it. Take something positive from each race -- each one is a learning experience. Sure, it's frustrating, but you'll be surprised at how much you grow from it ...
(And yes, I'm going to bookmark this one too, for next season when I'm ready to give it all up long about July ...)
Oh I hear you loud & clear...
I am facing the same dilemma in my series for next season and suddenly there is pressure from teammates & peers to "move up." Really? After racing just three seasons (and 1 and 1/2 was in sport)? Crazy because I am farrrr from expert material!
Ummm...have they looked at my times compared to the expert women?
After winning my overall class (based largely on my attendance & consistency, and just 2 semi-lucky wins), I can't stay in sport...what to do, what to do?
A friend of mine moved up this year to expert and she's been at it for 15 years (though not consecutively).
Anyway, cool blog...it's fun to read about other series & races, as we all face the same jitters, joys, and personal victories.
Cheers...ride hard, ride safe
:)
Kim
West Chester, PA
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