Missing you dad.

This is the last picture that I have of my dad alive.  Makes me wish I would have spent a little more time focusing on him that day (Easter 2009).

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of his death.  Since most of the people I would have enjoyed the company of on this emotionally difficult day were working or busy. . . .I decided to embark on my own little journey for the day, get in touch with my feelings, remember the good times, etc.

So I packed my bike up and headed out to ride (of course).

This past year has brought a lot of different things to my life.  Some good, some bad. . . . it's brought a lot of wonderful friends to the surface, and it's forced me to take a deeper look at my life and what it's missing. 

I'm one of those people who look at the closed door for so long I miss out on the open window.  I don't do it because i can't stand change. . . . . .I think I do it because i'm usually SO attached to that closed door that I can't even SEE the open window.  I don't like that part of myself. 

Many people in this world just shut everyone out.  Then they don't have to worry about closed doors.  I don't want to be like that. . . . . .but I feel like that's who I am becoming.  Strange how little things affect us so much.  How great loss can upset our whole "emotional balance". . . . have us wondering if certain things are really worth it.

I went to find peace and inspiration yesterday.  Instead I found confusion and more questions.  Questions to life. . . .questions there aren't really answers for.  Confusion as to why I do the things I do. . . .why I am who I am. . . .why I can't be who I "WANT" to be ALL the time.

I guess a day of reflection does that to a person.  :-)

Thinking about my dad today puts a smile on my face.  It still puts tears in my eyes because I truly miss him. . . . .but I know he's in a better place.  I will continue to strive and ltry to ook past the closed door. . . . .and find the open window.  It's exactly what he would want, and it's what I need to do for him. . . .for me. . . . .and for those who love me.

Peace.

North Carolina

One more trip to North Carolina under my belt.  This year was a year without Bill, a year without group rides and a different year all around.

8 people braved the trip, and while we all stayed in the same house, we all did our own thing.  That ended up being good for me becuase that meant people actually rode with me.  It also meant our group of 4 had a lot of fun, lots of laughs, lots of exploring.

This past year of my life has been very different for me.  Not having my dad has had me feeling a bit lost, especially during those times where I really need someone to talk to. 

Changes in the real estate market have had my business doing it's ups and downs, while the last few months have had me working very hard for what will hopefully be fruitful months to come.

Changes in my personal life have been on-going. . . . .things that were once very important to me seem to need re-evaluating with respect to importance now.  My life is built around others, I am on this earth to give to others, to enhance other's lives, to put other people ahead of myself.  This is how I've been for 40 years.  And over these past 40 years that train of thought has led to a lot of heart ache.  Maybe it's time to change that way of thinking?  Maybe my life should be a little more about ME and a little less about others.  I probaly care TOO much anyway.

2010 will be a life changing year, that's for sure.  I just have to figure out how to make that life change a GOOD change for myself. 

One day at a time. 

Spring is on the horizon

I'm starting to get Spring fever big time.  Being ALMOST over this sinus infection/cold that I've had for over 3 weeks has me wanting to get outside and RIDE!!  With the "promise" of better temps this weekend, I'm hoping for a nice ride outside on Sunday, perhaps around 11:00 or 12:00.  If anyone is interested, drop me an e-mail.  The more the merrier!

In the mean time, let's hope for nice weather, sunshine and melting snow.  It is March after all. . .. it's time to start thinking SPRING.

What is YOUR Spring plan?

Home Buyers Tax Credit

Does everyone know about this? 

You're running out of time to get your $8000 or $6500 credit.  April 30th is the date to have an accepted offer by, June 30th is the date to have closed by.  This credit applies to first time home buyers ($8000) as well as current home owners ($6500).

Check it out.  If you're thinking about moving, now is a great time.

Killer Whales

I don't care HOW trained I am, or how many years I've been working with Killer Whales. . . . . I think I'd be a little leary to get anywhere near such a massive animal - one that's been known to take lives before.

It's things like this that remind me of the frailty of our human existence.  One day we're here, one day we're not.  One day our loved ones are here, one day they're not.  One day what we think and feel is "true" we find out maybe it is not.  One day we come to realize things we see in our own future maybe are mearly "a dream" and not reality.

Life is precious.  It changes every day whether you are ready or not.  Whether you hold on tightly and pray for "no change", or whether you welcome change with open arms. . . . .change is inevitable.  And the scary thing about change, and life in general, is that it's not really all about "YOU".  What you want, your needs and desires, your thoughts and feelings, what makes you happy and whole. . . . none of this matters when a giant Killer Whale grabs your pony tail and pulls you under.

Life isn't about us.  All we can do is live it to our best ability and hope for another day. . . . .a better day.

How Green Are We?

What percentage of Americans participated in energy-saving activities within the past year?

Installed more energy-efficient light bulbs:  63%
Purchased energy-efficient appliances:  36%
Started paying bills online:  46%
Switched to paperless financial statements:  40%
Donated an electronic device for recycling:  41%
Swtiched from bottle to tap water:  29%
Installed a low-flow showerhead:  17%
Installed a low-flow toilet:  16%
Made home inprovements (e.g., windows, solar panels or insulation that provided government tax credits):  14%
Bought a more fuel-efficient car:  13%
None of these:  13%

Source: Harris interactive

What did you do?

Blogger Profile

I can't believe it's been over a month since I've updated my blog.  How sad.  And I actually enjoy writing on my blog.  I need to get back to taking more time to do the things that put a smile on my face again. 

With that said, I found this Blogger Profile article interesting.  It was in my real estate magazine this month, and was apparently pulled from the Technorati State of the Blogsphere 2009 report.

• Two thirds of bloggers are male.
• 60% are 18-44 years old.
• 74% have a college degree, and 40 percent have a graduate degree.
• One in three has an annual household income of $75,000 or higher, and one in four has an annual income of more than $100,000.
• More than half ar married.
• More than half are parents.
• Half are employed full time.

Interesting.  How about some "How Green Are We" statistics next time around?

Teaching is my passion (which is strange because I decided to change my major before finishing my education degree and instead came out with a sociology/psychology emphasis which is also a great interest of mine).  And I really don't spend enough time "teaching".  I've got to work on that. 

Now if I just figure out how to incorporate my blog into my web page, I'll be able to go to ONE place to share information.  Baby steps. 

Quote of the day

"Success is waking up in the morning and bounding out of bed because there's something out there that you love to do, that you believe in, that you're good at - something that's bigger than you are, and you can hardly wait to get at it again."


-- Whit Hobbs

Quote of the day

"Before a person can achieve the kind of life he wants, he must think, act, walk, talk and conduct himself in all of his affairs as would the person he wishes to become."


-- Zig Ziglar, Author

 
Interesting.

Comical

P90X

I didn't know what all the hype was about. Yeah, now I know.  It's fun, it's demanding, it's draining and my ASS (as well as all my other muscles) hurts from it.  60 minute workouts that have you feeling like you're doing "just fine", not pushing it too hard or anything, until you can't get out of bed the next day.  OUCH!

It's only been a couple weeks. . . .so we'll see how it does.  But so far it's definitely keeping my attention and it has me looking forward to my workouts.  Plus Tony Horton isn't too bad to look at either. . . . .

Getting the hang of it

I'm getting better at "capturing" the pictures. . . . .today I found a number of good places to park myself at the Polska race to snap some sweet shots.  I actually thought the pictures I took today turned out BETTER when I did the manual settings.  Strange.  :-)

While there were a few pictures that I really liked. . . . .I thought this one was pretty good.

And these two were fun.

And then there are a bunch of other fun ones.  I'm working on uploading them to Flickr right now.  Stay tuned!

Fun pictures

Mushrooms are fun to take pictures of.  Especially close up.  They're really quite interesting.

This weekend I have to "retake" my pictures of water. . . . .I wasn't happy with them last week.  We're supposed to be learning the different f/stops and shutter speeds, etc, depth of field, blah, blah, blah. 

And this week's assignment is using different lenses. . . . I think. . . . .I should probably look back in my notes to make sure I do the correct thing.

TODAY I'll take some pics of the peeps at the cross race.  That's always fun.  Maybe I'll even live dangerously and take it off "auto".

Iceman Travels

Good Times with Good People. . . . . and a giant pig.

Allison Dunlap

It was pretty cool to be this close to "greatness" at the Iceman (yes, I took this picture).  It was also interesting to see that she sat on this climb while many of the other riders stood.  It was mostly interesting to me because I sit too.  :-) 

Halloween Pyramid

Yup, we had to make a pyramid at Halloween.  There were 3 people who hadn't been a part of one yet. . . .so you know ya GOTTA do it then.

We started Evan early. . . . he might as well get used to the crazy bikers.

Iceman Cometh 2009

What a fun time.  With 47 finishers in my age group, and ALL the women lined up at the start of my race, I was nervous as to how I would finish.  My Friday wasn't exactly what I had hoped for. . . . .a derailure mechanical put me out of commission and I had to watch my teammates pre-ride while I did nothing.  Not a good combo for my legs after the 9 hour ride.  They needed some spinning.  BUT, things happen, and it was what it was. . . . .so once they got their pre-ride in, we headed to the local bike shop to get me a new derailure.  WHEW.  Problem solved.

Saturday morning there was just a flurry of people preparing for the race.  My understanding is they had a little issue with the lottery system, and because of that "boo boo" they ended up letting in nearly twice the participants.  Warming up, you could definitely tell there were WAY more people than in years past.

When they gave us the "riders go", we rolled on out.  Thankfully I lined up on the front line (I think Frankie Andreau gave me "the eyes", I must have looked fast).  Immediately a group of roadie girls went to the front and darted back and forth as those "roadies" do.  The lead out was a good mile or so of road, so these gals bumped up the pace a bit off the bat.  I managed to hang on. . . . .then we hit the dirt.  We went from 2 and 3 across to single file and I could see the lead girls forming a bit of a gap.  I was on another gal's wheel and I felt my pace was pretty good, given the fact that I was in for a race much longer than I'm used to.  I didn't need to use it all up right out of the gate.

I rode this gal's wheel for a while, until we started hitting some hills.  Almost immediately we started catching the men and after the first couple hills I was able to pass the gal who I was riding with, along with another gal.  That was about the only time in the race that I saw any other women.  I believe ONE other woman passed me at some point mid-race. . . .but other than her, it was all me passing men.  HUNDREDS of men.  There were SO many men, I'd pass packs of 10 at a time.  The interesting thing about that was these passes often required me to dart off the GOOD LINE into the sand, or the leaves, or just the harder part of the trail to get around.  Talk about a race full of "intervals".  Each time I'd do these large passes, I'd have to expend a large amount of energy just to get back to the "good line".  I was hoping that energy expenditure wasn't going to catch up with me.  One can always hope, right?

With about 7-8 miles left to go, I came upon "The Wall".  The wall was a steep hill climb which leveled out and dumped into some very tight single track.  At that moment, I did not know exactly what "the wall" was, I just knew for some reason there were about 100 riders stopped on this hill. . . .not moving.  I thought someone was hurt and they stopped the race to clear them off the trail.  Nope, it was just an astronomical amount of traffic dumping into single track.  And when you dump 10 wide into single file, it causes a MASSIVE bottleneck.  Talk about irritating.  I literally stool STILL for a good 3-4 minutes.  As we all waited our turn in this single track, we watched a NUMBER of riders decide that cutting the course was a "good" idea.  WHAT THE HELL?  Sure, it wasn't fun to wait for this bottleneck, and it wasn't fun knowing there were more people in front of me than in front of earlier waves, so my wait was going to be longer simply due to the sheer number of riders. . . . .but how does that give you the right to CHEAT?  It doesn't.  So I waited.

The last 7-8 miles were full of more passing, lots of screaming spectators, massive leg cramps and fatigue.  I had to work my way around the remaining sport boys I was passing coming into the finish chute because they were so exhausted they were hardly moving.  Finally when the chute got tight, I gave up passing and settled in behind them and rode it in for the finish.

I finished 3rd out of 47 in my age group.  If I calcuated correctly, it looks like I took 8th out of 90 sport women.  Fun times.  I managed to hold an average heart rate of 180 for the 2:25 it took me to finish that race, DESPITE the 3-4 minute stand still.  Pretty sweet.  I'm VERY thankful for what I've achieved this season. . . .thankful for finally being able to "undo" what I did last year. . . .thankful I finally feel like "I don't suck".  And I'm looking forward to a fantastic off season this winter.  I have a lot to accomplish.  :-)

Squirt. . . . ."The long lasting dry lube"

'Nuff said.

Can you identify this Ninja?

Wolf River Rendezvous

What a fun race!  We arrived Friday night a bit later than we had hoped for. . . .got held up in Oshkosh by a 3 car pile up, so that put us about 40 minutes behind schedule.  As we pulled in Bear Paw Friday night, finding our camp site was tough.  We scoped it out, realized with the way the current campers were arranged, there was no way we were backing into our spot. . . . .we dumped the "hotel on wheels" right in the turn around and set up shop.  Perfect.

Saturday's preride was challenging.  One lap took me about 36 minutes and I was hoofin' it pretty good.  I figured I'd be looking at a bit longer of a race come Sunday, but that's ok.  My lungs felt like they were on fire after the preride, my legs were tired and my body wondered how in the HELL I was going to get 3 good laps Sunday.  But my mind wanted to go do another lap and focus on all that technical riding.

I wasn't sure how I felt Sunday, other than tired, but I knew it was a fun course so my plan was to just go ride.  I lined up on the start line with a mere 8 other Brave sport women.  We all had a little chuckle together, realizing we were all guaranteed a "Top 10" if we finished.  What a great attitude these women have!  :-)

Don said "GOOOOOOOOOOO" and I knew I should get up front.  Climbing is my "thing" and I needed to be up front on that start hill.  I also knew this course was built for me. . . .lots of slippery rocks and roots, lots of climbing. . . all my strong points.  If I could keep myself up front and working HARD, I knew I would do pretty good.

We started catching the Sport boys before we even hit the first section of single track.  They are always so nice to us. . . . .cheering us on, moving over, telling us what position we are in, making room for us when they know we can make a climb they can't.  This is one of the reasons I LOVE Sport.  And this race wasn't any different.  We hit the first steep little climb in the single track and 3 Sport boys and one Sport girl got off their bikes, not being able to make the climb.  Seeing me coming, they all parted the way for me to poke right up the hill past them. . . .I LOVE those technical climbs.  That put me in second place.  I hoped I could hold it.  I knew the chances of me catching 1st were slim, but I was certainly going to give it my all.

Lap 2 felt good.  It was tiring. . . .my legs were starting to feel all the climbing.  A couple Sport boys went down on roots in front of me, I managed to avoid them.  One by one I passed them and worked my way up.  For the first time in a long time, I got to ride WITH some of the Sport boys.  We seem to be opposites in our strengths. . . . .I'd gain time on them in the technical, climbing sections, they'd gain time on me in the open double track stretches.  Back and forth I went with a few of them.

Lap 3 I was wondering how in the WORLD I was going to finish.  My legs were SOOO fatigued.  My breathing was extremely labored, all that climbing was really wearing on me.  Each single track climb I would have to push a little harder to get myself through it.  I kept telling myself "this is the last time through here".  I knew I could ride every single section on that trail, so making a deal with myself to "walk if needed" was NOT an option.  "Stay on the bike" my mind kept telling me.  "You WILL finish".  And I did.

Since there were only 9 of us, we were pretty spread out.  The gal I usually battle with (Kate) had raced Saturday, so she was a little "compromised" on this course.  I managed to finish in 2nd with a good gap on the 3rd place gal.  My legs hurt so bad when I crossed the finish line I wasn't sure I'd get back to my camper.  It was a wonderful feeling.  Knowing I had once again pushed myself THAT hard and had THAT much fun doing it.  Kind of sick really.  :-)

I'll be signing up for that race again, that's for sure.  And I'll hope for slick conditions next year.  That's the perfect make up for me.  Awesome.